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Much Better…

February 28, 2009 starshine1 1 comment

My past two posts have been pretty bitter.  I admit I cringed a little when I re-read them.  I’m feeling much better now.  I don’t know why, because honestly nothing has changed, but I guess I’m just putting it in perspective.

So, most of my bitter,  hard feelings stemmed from my conflicting feelings, and the list of let downs concerning a person.  It still hurts.  But I guess there are other people out there…and I’m committed to finding mine.

Seriously.  I’ve been single for what…ever?

Anyway the point is I’m feeling pretty good now…not 100%, but good…decent.  Thanks to my friends, and tasks that need to be completed, which are taking over most of my focus.  Also God.  I went to church on Ash Weds.  I gave up alcohol for Lent.  I’m focusing on me, and what I need emotionally which is something I ignore alot, especially when I like someone and I think what should I do so they like me, what does he want?…etc.

Instead its like this:  I’m already awesome enough to be cared about.  So the question is: What can you do to get me?

I know: Get me a pizza and some orange juice…I’m starving.

Dominica: Sun in Cancer, Ascendant in Capricorn, and Moon in Sagittarius

February 17, 2009 starshine1 Leave a comment

This birth chart shows the positions of the planets of Dominica

The sun represents vitality, a sense of individuality and outward-shining creative energy.

Sun in Cancer

She weighs words carefully and is tenacious. A calm and discreet nature, tender, thoughtful, sensitive and impressionable. She likes group life.

Weaknesses: She is humble, timid, changeable, indecisive, lazy, over-sensitive and prickly. Easily influenced by the family.

Cancer ascendant Capricorn

Sun in VI

Not much social ambition, she wants to work in the medical environment and progress step by step.

109 Conjunction Sun – Mars

She is energetic, determined, courageous, she is full of self-confidence. She likes to dominate, command, direct. She overcomes all difficulties by sheer will-power. She is frank.

-49 Opposition Sun – Neptune

Her imagination turns to internal day-dreaming: she is easily influenced, and complicates life unnecessarily. She does not bring plans to a conclusion. The dream-world is enough.

The moon represents a reaction, unconscious pre-destination, and the self-image.

Moon in Sagittarius

Likes to throw herself into the unknown and into adventure: she is agile, tough and enthusiastic. Attracted to long voyages, to discover the unknown.

Weaknesses: takes great risks in throwing herself into the unknown and into adventure. Audacious, bold and rebellious. Unable to stay in one place, is always ready to risk everything to achieve her goal.

Moon in XI

Lots of friends, relationships. She makes friends easily and uses her relationships to further professional success. Feelings of friendship are superficial. Lots of children.

219 Conjunction Moon – Uranus

She is imaginative and has the Moon’s intuition complemented by Uranus’ independence and originality. Her life is out-of-the-ordinary, with lots of changes and a great knowledge of the world not through reading but through personal experience. She likes the sensational, new things. She acts instinctively, but fortunately has a good sixth sense. She likes to be surrounded by original people, artists.

Mercury represents communication, Cartesian and logical spirit.

Mercury in Leo

Ambitious, sincere, loyal, friendly and full of good cheer. Great sense of organization. Likes children and leisure time.

Weaknesses: likes to play games too much and can go too far, in spite of herself. Likes to play-act and do about-turns, which surprise and upset those concerned. Likes to take risks in jest and for amusement.

Mercury in VII

Hates being alone. She has lots of friends, likes to discuss and similarly has a lot of work friends. Likes to write.

-134 Square Mercury – Pluto

She is impatient. She likes contradiction and is irascible. Her arguments are noisy and animated.

Venus represents an interest for emotions and values, exchange and sharing with others.

Venus in Taurus

Amiability and fidelity. Likes to please and dress up. Earns a good living. She is generous but not extravagant. Affectionate, sensual and loving in nature, she likes the good things of Life, sensitive to beauty, melodious sounds, perfumes. Love arrives slowly, without passion but with force. Love is lasting.

Weaknesses: indolence, laziness, immoderate taste for pleasures of Life, gambling, entertainment and luxury.

Venus in IV

She is lucky enough to have many happy occasions all through life. Strong friendships which can effect the emotional life. She also makes a good marriage. Happy family life. Good work situation.

-238 Opposition Venus – Saturn

This aspect sometimes means unhealthy sensuality. She is hard, and does not know how to express her emotions. She is frightened of showing her love, and this leads to disappointments, break-ups, lack of satisfaction. It is likely that she had problems with her mother, who did not know how to love her or give her self-confidence. She doubts, is suspicious and jealous. She will learn how to be happy in love, to be at ease with herself and to control her jealousy in the second half of her life, thanks to an older person, who gives her self-confidence back to her, so she can then trust others.

102 Trine Venus – Ascendant

She likes everything beautiful, the Arts, balance and harmony. She is amiable and sociable. She likes entertainment and has a loving nature.

Mars represents the desire for action and physical energy.

Mars in Cancer

She works relentlessly for the well-being of the family. All the aggressiveness is channelled in order to improve the conditions of life for the family, which is her foremost preoccupation. She rarely gets angry and never cries. She controls herself perfectly. That said, if someone, even a member of the family, goes too far then the anger is all the more impressive for being so uncommon.

Weaknesses: Domestic quarrels, discipline problems with children, house moves that are not necessarily an improvement.

Mars in VI

She works with great pleasure and flat out but meets with problems at work, where professional rivalry blocks her ideas and enjoyment.

Jupiter represents expansion and grace.

Jupiter in Aquarius

Ambivalent feelings, generous, philanthropic. She is tolerant and indulgent.

Weaknesses: an idealist prone to rebel or revolt.

Jupiter in I

She is jovial, expansive, dynamic, kindly, altruistic. She has good judgement, is tolerant and likes food. She has a good education and a prosperous life.

132 Sextile Jupiter – Uranus

She knows what’s going on at a glance. She thirsts after knowledge, and is a good organizer. She is very independent, likes her freedom of action, is a non-conformist. She is very agreeable company and is always in demand.

Saturn represents contraction and effort.

Saturn in Scorpio

Observant, self-controlled, unforgiving, tough, methodical, a researcher, an investigator. Lots of courage, self-assurance and can keep her cool.

Weaknesses: makes no concessions or compromises. She can become a fanatic of a creed, a party, work or a religion.

Saturn in X

Her up-bringing is rigorous, severe. Her professional life is all-important. She is serious, methodical, persevering. She wants to have power, to succeed and has all the necessary qualities to achieve this objective, by taking one step at a time.

Uranus represents individual liberty, egoistic liberty.

Uranus in Sagittarius

She is shy, delicate but proud, bold and lively.

Uranus in XI

Her freedom is important to her, even with regard to friends. These are extravagant, original, intellectual. They are not from the same background and have a different up-bringing.

Neptune represents transcendental liberty, non-egoistic liberty.

Neptune in Capricorn

She is discerning, wise and sensible.

Neptune in XII

She likes isolation, a withdrawn life, dreams and meditation. She has little desire for action.

88 Sextile Neptune – Pluto

Pluto represents transformations, mutations and elimination.

Pluto in Scorpio

Great sexual activity.

House I is the area of self identity. The ascendant is a symbol of how one acts in life. It is the image of the personality as seen by other, and the attitude that one has of life.

Cancer ascendant Capricorn

Ascendant in Capricorn

If childhood and youth are not very scholarly periods, with little success, maturity and old age will see the arrival of success. The rise will be slow, and she will be self-taught, spending all her life studying and instructing herself.

House II is the area of material security.

House II in Pisces

Easy success in professional life thanks to intelligence, ingeniousness and a few friends. Sheis careful with money without being miserly, because she is generous.

House III is the area of social and intellectual learning.

House III in Aries

Lively intelligence. She is ambitious. She is always ready for any initiative requiring change or novelty.

House IV is the area of action and emotion.

House IV in Taurus

Makes a good mother. Likes to be at home, with the little family for company. Appreciates comfort, peace and quiet, and simple but good food!. Takes care of what she possesses wisely.

House V is the area of self-security.

House V in Gemini

Likes to please: She can spend hours in the bathroom, preparing to go out, in the hope of meeting someone to dazzle. Likes interminable discussions with friends.

House VI is the area of learning by material transaction.

House VI in Cancer

Likes jobs in contact with the public. Weak point: the stomach.

House VII is the area of social et intellectual action.

House VII in Cancer

Marriage, a nice little family. The spouse will not always be easy to live with, a little too mad.

House VIII is the area of emotional security and of security of the soul.

House VIII in Virgo

Small inheritances. Happy old age, natural death.

House IX is the area of learning that shapes the identity.

House IX in Libra

Likes justice, honesty, loyalty. Make good lawyers.

House X is the area of material action. The Mid-heaven represents the work one will do in his life, the place one will take in the world of society. It becomes more important as one grows older

House X in Scorpio

Likes professions that involve a certain risk. Those in the police field are recommended. She likes to investigate. She is curious by nature, takes risks and fights to succeed.

House XI is the area of search for social and intellectual security.

House XI in Sagittarius

Loves above all travel, adventure and friends are often from abroad.

House XII is the area of education and of emotion.

House XII in Capricorn

Disappointments are difficult to digest, the bitterness can last a long time before she is able to react positively.

Meet Tristan, and Certain Songs Make Me Miss You

October 7, 2008 starshine1 Leave a comment

So this guy I know really well.  His name is Tristan Kavanagh, he’s the greatest guy I know, and probably the most perfect.  haha.  Well, you’ll see in his blog.  Which is actually helping me get to know him even better.  He’s just a friend, well he already has a super awesome gf.  So no luck there ladies.  Sorry.  So here’s the link: Tristan’s Blog

Also I know everyone says the reason I’m single is because I’m so cold-hearted, and guys are intimidated by me (Why!?!  Whatever, losers, scared of a 5′2″, 100lbs…)  Sureel said it’s because I’m ambiguous.  Basically she says guys can’t tell if I’m really into them or just toying with them, so they’re scared to take a chance.    Julian, also my best guy friend and cousin, said guys get the vibe that my first answer is going to be “NO.” and I give off the feeling of “You don’t have a chance.” So let me make this clear:  I have a HEART, and it can be pretty romantic…sometimes.  Ok, so I’m never gonna wanna watch A Walk to Remember, The Notebook, anything by Nicolas Sparks or anything like that CRAP.  Still, I like romance, just a drier version of it.  I’m sorta like a teenaged-boy at heart (that likes guys).  My kind of love is care-free and innocent, lighthearted, and fun.  Not tear-jerking or anything you’ll find on LifeTime…GROSS.

So anyway.  I’ve been a softy lately.  I dunno, I’ve been head-in-the-clouds-hoping-for-love-to-come-around for some unknown reason, and I’ve been going on dates.  Basically I’m giving people a chance, and its amazing how many people open up to you once you open up to them first.  Wow.  Still, I’m not attached in any sense of the word (I really like freedom).  There are 3 guys that I like more than anyone else so far.  But, for various reasons, I can’t see them as much as I would like…well there’s a main reason for all 3 of them: SCHOOL!!!!  Stupid school, making their schedules and mine busy as hell!!! It especially sucks for…my favorite one.  He and Tristan are actually a lot alike…look eh, similar… both from the same city…but he’s not tall like Tris.  I’ve even been less picky lately.  Like remember when I was in that blonde phase?  Well, I met a couple of cute brunettes, and basically I’m not going by any specific features anymore…just hottness.  That’s all that counts, well that and being super-smart, into music (all genres please, not just hip-hop or just rock…jeez), funny, creative, likes to read actual books, political, aromatically appealing, taller than me, nice, honest, reliable,  proficiency at an instrument (preferably guitar or piano) is a plus, as are: a good sense of fashion, ability to speak a European language (preferably Italian or French), being spontaneous, willingness to dance in public (i.e. bars, clubs etc.), non-opposed to getting drunk occassionally, and just being fantastically, awesome.  Oh, and willing to accept my love for Megan Fox, ask Dave he understands.  Wait…and not whiny.  Ugh, please don’t call me drunk and beg for me to come over, and don’t say: “I care about you more than you care about me.”  and don’t ask “When you graduate do you want to move-in together?” if we’ve only been together a total of 2 months.  Yeah, the ex did all of those things…he was basically a whiny-teenaged-girl.  I already possess a vagina…I don’t need two.  Sorry I got carried away.  That list of what I want isn’t too specific or long right?  I’m sure someone fits that other than Robert Schwartzman/Carmine (He goes by either name.)

Wait, wait, wait!!!  The list!  Ok, so the point was:  Certain songs make me want to have a significant guy in my life and sorta make me miss/pine for this one guy those other guys.  Here they are:

Artist ~ Song

We Are Scientists ~ After Hours

Foo Fighters ~ Walking After You

The Virgins ~ Private Affair

The Virgins ~ Teen Lovers

Asobi Seksu ~ Thursday

MGMT ~ Electric Feel

The Cure ~ Just Like Heaven

The Veronicas ~ Unthouched (That goes for me and the Jonas Brothers)

The Bridges ~ All the Words

Sam Sparro ~ Black & Gold

Phantom Planet ~ Dropped

Brazilian Girls ~ Good Time

Marie Digby ~ Stupid for You

Noah and the Whale ~ 5 Years Time

Aqualung ~ Strange and Beautiful

She and Him ~ Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?

Locksley ~ Don’t Make Me Wait

The Headlights ~ Everybody Needs a Fence to Lean On

Chairlift ~ Bruises

Coldplay ~ Lovers in Japan/Reign of Love

Bloc Party ~ Mercury (I don’t know why though)

Bloc Party ~ This Modern Love (I know exactly why)

Field Music ~ You’re So Pretty

Feist ~ Inside and Out (Reminds me of Andy Samberg)

Kaskade ~ 4AM

Paramore ~ That’s What You Get

Hard-Fi ~ Hard to Beat

Portishead ~ Glory Box

Charlotte Sometimes ~ How I Could Just Kill a Man (its the sound, not the words)

The Bravery ~ Time Won’t Let Me Go

Paolo Nutini ~ Last Request

James Morrison ~ Better Man

James Morrison ~ You Give Me Something

That’s all folks! So I’m going to do some actual work now, and practice my guitar, and go to sleep, and then wake up and go to class.  Love Ya.

Oh, I got a role in a movie.  More on that tomorrow.