Ok, well if you know me you know I’m not a fan of award shows. Its a bunch of celebs getting together to celebrate (notice celebrity and celebrate have the same root.) themselves in front of the rest of us. Until I’m no longer a part of the rest of us, and relocate to the realm of celebrity (which I will be soon, I’m too pretty, genius, and talented for the life I currently live) I will cringe at award shows. Still I watched the VMAs. I was hoping that pirate of a man, Russell Brand, would provide welcome laughter. HE WAS NOT FUNNY. As usual the VMAs dissapoint when it comes to hilarity. Maybe Brand is usually funny, because I now believe that the VMAs are a vortex, no rather a blackhole if you will, that sucks the comedy out of everyone, and all their little intro sketches were so fake, and annoying. Frigging Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus kept laughing and couldn’t keep straight faces. Ugh. When will the VMAs ever be funny?
Russell Brand and Christian Aguilera
One problem with Brand was his constant attacks on the Jonas’ VIRGINITY. Come on, get over it, ok the Jonas Bros. are virgins. (So Am I, thanks Russell) Good for them, hahaha. Now get a new joke. Then he attacked Republicans. Pushed Obama, and ripped on Palin’s preggo daughter. Palin’s kid isn’t a funny topic, in fact no one really cares that much about the kid, and it didn’t cause an uproar like the dems secretly hoped. She’s preggo. Big woop. So are a bunch of other 17 year old girls. At least in Bristol Palin’s case her parents can amply support her, her baby, and her baby’s daddy. Unlike others who are too young, pregnant, and poor. I’d rather some rich family get stuck with an underaged pregnancy than a poor one, at least the rich ones can eat.
Brand would probably have a field day with me. I’m a Virgin and a Conservative. I’d be a walking joke to him.
Haley Williams performing Misery Business
Good news: Britney Spears looked really good, and not crazy or fat. Nice. Rhianna did not get on my nerves. Lil’ Wayne was good. Joe Jonas looked good with his super thick, yet hot, eyebrows. (he’s 19 I can check him out) Locksley, a band I have met, spoken with, and got complimented by had a commercial promoting voting to those aged 18-25 come on during the awards, and they are MTVs artist of the week. Jesse is hot (not McCartney, though he is hott, but the lead singer of Locksley, and vote folks, seriously, vote. Even if you don’t like the canidates at least get a say in which person you hate least.) Paramore performed!!! Love them. The FASHION!!!! I love clothes, and Katy Perry’s outfits were delicious, I’d kiss a girl if it got me those outfits! Rhianna’s haircut was love. Bill Kaulitz is the prettiest boy I have ever seen, Cher would love him, I thought he was a girl for like ever. Joe Jonas’ suit was sweet, I’d love to date a guy who dressed like that. Boys in tuxes, its so prom, yet still so hott. Ashley Tisdale (we’re two days apart in age) had a bangin’ dress with a sweet heart neckline in a dazzling silver-white color. Get em’ girl. The lovely list goes on. Clothes never dissapoint me, nor do shoes. They are love honeys, love. Shia was there too, and so was Christina Aguilera.
Joe Jonas manhandled by crowd
Speaking of Christina, The Bad News: Christina has a beautiful voice, but she was lip-syncing! Why? She usually doesn’t because unlike many pop artists she doesn’t need to. Rhianna didn’t lip-sync, why did Christina, and I was excited to see her. Heidi and Spencer were there. Gross. I didn’t agree with the nominees for any of the categories. None of the artists nominated had really awesome vids, and Rooney was expecting a nod, but didn’t get one, and they had a better vid than bands like Fall Out Boy with “Beat It.” I felt like I could have nominated way better videos that are recent and more creative. This years nominees were just a bunch of people screaming into a camera lens, no storylines, not bad, but nothing special. Twilight movie cast. They are not good looking enough!!! Only Kristen Stewart fits her part as Bella, and thats easy cuz Bella is just a plain jane. The Vamps. So NOT model-esque at all. Those people are not hot, especially Robert Pattinson. He’s not Edward enough. Gaspard Ulliel still would have been the best choice to me. Then again, he’s bigger than Robert so he prob. would not have done it anyway. This movie is going to disappoint, but then again all movies from books do, and Meyer’s fourth book in the series was garbage anyway.
Rhianna performing Disturbia. Lookin' Good.
Anyway, as usual the VMAs were just alright, and boring. If you’re into music, like REALLY into MUSIC, and in the Champaign-Urbana, Illinois area check out Pygmalion music festival, it’ll be worth it.
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