Things I wish my BF knew, I found a list online that I totes agreed with & thought I’d share. I added a bit to it so here’s the link to the original
Before I begin this list, I want to express that I love my boyfriend with all my heart. This list is not designed to criticize him, but to help out other boys who may come across it.
I Don’t LOVE wearing makeup or doing my hair all the time. It’s hard. I have thick hard to work with hair. I understand that you prefer that do it into some amazing glossy veil. But I don’t wear it to impress you and I’m not white so it’s hard darn it!
If I look particularly nice on any given day, tell me. Chances are, if you notice a positive change in my appearance, I worked harder than usual to look good and will appreciate the recognition. And if I didn’t go out of my way to look good, the compliment will mean that much more.
Show me off to your friends. I want you to be proud of me and nothing means quite as much as knowing that you’ll break your tough guy facade in front of your friends to kiss me or brag about how utterly awesome I am. Also not meeting your friends feels like crap. Like you’re ashamed of me or something.
Include me! It sucks to hear about all the plans you’ve made with your friends, especially when they’re girls, and you never invite me along. Yeah I know we have separate social spheres, but I’d at least like to pass through yours occasionally. I invite you out with my crew whenever it’s reasonable, but you don’t and it’s turning into a red flag.
Text me for no particular reason. I’m not asking you to flood my inbox with meaningless “Hi”s or “What’s up?”s. But, on occasion, an unprovoked message asking how my day’s going will earn you major boyfriend points.
If you notice that I’m becoming irritated with what you’re doing, stop doing it. This seems like a given, but I cannot count the times that my boyfriend has continuously ignored my requests to stop poking me until I finally flipped out. I understand that you have an inner seven year old that you have trouble surpressing sometiems, but if I tell you to stop poking me and you continue to do so, you lose your privilege to call me unreasonable when I then give you the silent treatment. So when I say stop, STOP!
I don’t like PDA. It doesn’t mean I don’t love kissing you. I get irritated when people are making out in the middle of a store or on a crowded bus or at a park. So I won’t do it either. It makes me uncomfortable so please don’t act hurt when I pull away. But the random times I do do it you better not pull away…
Be a tiny bit jealous. If you notice another guy checking me out or if you think someone’s flirting with me, make mention of it later on. I’m not saying to cause a scene or be possessive, but I like to know that you notice things like that.
Dance with me. If we’re at a function (i.e. a wedding) and everyone’s up dancing, ask me to dance. I don’t care if you’re a terrible dancer. When guys refuse to dance, they seem insecure and it reminds me of awkward middle school dances where all the boys stood against one wall and the girls stood against the other. I promise no one else will even notice but it will mean a whole lot to me.
Take me out!! I really want a guy to take me on an adventure! Something random & surprising! Even if it’s just a random night in Naperville, I don’t care, I want someone who can have fun on a whim, even if we just go for a walk and act goofy. Go with the flow! Not everything is planned. And sometimes I want to just be spontaneous and do a random awesome thing. Just do it!
Ask me for help with something I’m good at. Men love feeling useful, but they oftentimes don’t realize that women love it too. I like to think of myself as a fairly intelligent person, so if you ask me the capital of Finland or how to spell “Antidisestablishmentarianism” it will give me the same gratification you get when you get to fix my car or kill the big, bad spider in my bathroom.
Take the reins. I know that I love being in charge and I appreciate that you recognize that by giving me full control of our social calendar. But once in awhile, I would love to be able hand over the power to you and have you know what to do with it.
My histrionic tendencies do mean something. Sometimes, I feel a little neglected. It’s not your fault. But I do expect you to fix it. If I seem a little whiny or I milk a minor headache for all it’s worth, I want you to cater to me and spoil me a bit. I don’t do this often and I don’t expect to be taken care of all the time, so it will mean more if you notice when I’m cying out for extra attention.
Open your mind. Example I like all music, you only like top 40 and dance music. Just cuz something is different doesn’t mean it sucks, give everything a chance or you get boring fast, and I will dump boring.
I want you to support me. I understand that I’m a dreamer and not a doer sometimes. I’ve been that way my whole life. So when I claim that I’m going to go back to school/going to workout/get a new job/starting a business don’t roll your eyes or tell me that I won’t. I’m nearly all talk but that talk helps me deal with the bad situations I’m in. You know I’m probably not going to do it, I know that I’m probably not going to do it, but telling me so will just turn my annoyance from my crappy job to you.
Get excited about things I’m interested in or share with you. Ok I know you’re not gonna jump up and down about the new Dolce & Gabbana line or the season finale of Project Runway, but when I tell you that the awesome band a guy from my French class is in is finally playing at The Mid downtown at least feign interest.
Putting yourself down is not attractive. It makes you very un-sexy when you do it. I don’t care if you’re balding or not, getting fat, or if you’re shrinking. Stop putting yourself down it ruins everything! If it’s something you can change, change it. If you can’t or won’t then shut up and let’s keep having fun! I know I call myself fat sometimes and complain about my hair, but I’m doing it because I’m female and I’m conditioned to believe that if I don’t look like Megan Fox, I’m ugly. I’ve been dealing with these insecurities all my life and rarely voice them so just ignore me if I do (never agree with me). I think of this as a very feminine practice, so when you do it, it’s not a good thing. I understand that you have flaws and I promise that I very rarely, if ever, notice them. So the only way to make me aware of anything that’s wrong with you is to call attention to it.
Call me old fashioned; I expect you to offer to pay for me sometimes. I’m aware that this is the 21st century and that women can be CEO of major companies and run for president. But I can’t help it. Usually,I’ll pay for myself anyway, but the offer makes you seem chivalrous. But when you whine and ask me to buy you things it’s a turn off. And it makes me feel like your mom, not your girlfriend. Also it just reminds me of how you never buy or even offer to buy me anything…
Love me for me. I have my eccenticies and flaws and I fully expect you to accept them, if not find them adorable. I hate having anyone touch my feet, I make up words whenever I feel like it, I talk way too fast when I’m excited or nervous, I sing to myself and often don’t realize I’m doing it, and I don’t share red Starbursts. And I’m a God-fearing prude. If these trivial things are enough to send you on your merry way than it’s your loss.
Don’t put me down. It hurts. I’m sensitive & I don’t always catch your jokes. Plus after a while your repeated mean jokes just sound mean.
Either take all your pics of other girls off your phone or keep your phone away from me so I can’t see them. Same with your FB page. Seeing a half-naked Asian chick with huge boobs that you probably drool over is not fun. I’m not Asian, and will never have big boobs, so that is not a pic of me. Even if she’s animated, it hurts to see. You used to put cute pics of me everywhere. Even though you don’t anymore doesn’t mean I want to know what you’d rather be looking at. Because if that’s the case, and you feel I’m not enough, then we should break up.
So, there you have it, things that I wish my boyfriend knew. Thanks for reading!